


He wouldn't.

by Personette



Series: Projecting is the best of dealing with tramua [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Child Abuse, Doubt, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Not Beta Read, Potions, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sirius Black Needs a Hug, The Author Regrets Everything, The author has issues and is projecting, Walburga Black Bashing, Walburga Black's A+ Parenting, potion making, potion-making, so yeah shoot me, this is almost word for word what my mom has done, validate me please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:34:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25788913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Personette/pseuds/Personette
Summary: He wouldn't relapse because of her. He wouldn't.
Relationships: Sirius Black & Walburga Black
Series: Projecting is the best of dealing with tramua [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1876072
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	He wouldn't.

It was a simple mistake. Walburga had been making some potions and had asked him to bring Monk's Reed. 

Sirius had gone to get them and he'd really looked too but the jars weren't labelled and he had never been good at potions and, and-

And now, she was mad that he'd brought Monk's Weed instead. She hadn't even put it in the potion yet, the potion was fine but here she was yelling and yelling and yelling and yelling.

She was telling him that, that, he was mentally upset, that ,that he was doing everything for attention and attention and attention and maybe she was right. Maybe Sirius was fucked up. Maybe he deserved this. Maybe.

He didn't reply to her of course, because in all these years, he'd learnt at least one thing. Taking it silently is better than arguing back.

He used to do that as a child, but eventually it'd been beaten out of him. ( He still had scars on his neck from when she tried to choke for being sorted into Gryffindor. They had healed but sometimes he still felt like he couldn't breathe)

Not talking back didn't mean it didn't hurt. It hurt, it hurts so much, his eyes burnt, his head throbbed and his throat closed up painfully. His breath came in short, mercifully silent bursts.

(Silence was necessary, silence was good. Being loud got you hurt)

Despite the fact that his eyes burnt, he wouldn't, he couldn't cry.

As he made his way to his room, a part of him, a very small of him, whispered that the blades would make it better. (They wouldn't they wouldn't make anything better but,but,but-)

No. No. Sirius wouldn't relapse over her. He wouldn't. 

He wouldn't.

He wouldn't.

Not tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm heavily projecting rn.


End file.
